the four right chords can make me cry

I emailed k at last today. My bad, I never reply on time. And it's ironic, considering how bad their internet access is over there. It was almost a year ago now, but it feels like a lifetime away.

So tenuous, these ties that link people together. I'm so thankful for each and every person in my life (ok, almost every person, if i'm honest).

And yesterday, like I was telling josh, I met so many people, it really made my day. From secondary school junior (who remembers my name, but whose name I can't remember) and weichin at the pool, to weimin's sister, to darryl, to mark, to nick, to chels, to phoebe, to weiying, to dom at the bus stop (we missed 5 buses together), to grace in lecture, to birthday girl sien and the whole of wednesday CG, to sk and even ying kit and boredin.

and there's fadz and veron to meet for lunch now! yay =)

posted by beckyboo @ 11:39 AM 0 comments

KT answering his own questions:

"you all are final year students right?
have you heard of the journal PNAS?
is it a good journal?
it's a bloody good journal, ok?"

And that was our introduction to SP, whom proceeded to better KT by calling all the bacteria "bastards" and saying f**k.

He said it again when I went over to biopolis to talk to him today. Less than prof-like language aside, he seemed to have my interests at heart and told me to first of all, consider my own future and career. Because essentially (as boss would say), doing a phd is like signing a slave contract. Those were his exact words.

He seemed to be sizing me up at the same time, I felt it in his gaze. Would this student survive? He said he was excited about the project and would wait to hear from me. I wonder what that means; have I really passed his assessment or is that something they say just to be nice?

As you can see, I am cautiously optimistic. The offer is more than seductive, a chance that I'll be spending at least two years in KI in Sweden. KI, that's the place that gives out the Nobel prize! And he really bent over backwards to offer a phd "package", throwing in clinical work, neat setups, fancy equipment and other promises.

Let me just say that now is the time to be a life science grad student. Department after department, prof after prof, they all seem so hungry for fresh meat. Funding is flush, opportunities abound. And dare I say, standards are low?

SP asked me what my background was, so I told him about my current project and my previous UROPS, and he was like, no no, what's your background? are you a chemistry, physics, engineering major...? You don't even need a life science background and they're already keen on you. He not once even got close to asking me about my CAP score; it clearly was not a concern. I got that impression from the open house that day too; come one, come all. 2nd lower? No problem! Just apply!

Since there are more opportunities than students who are taking them, I shall weigh my choices very carefully, since I'm almost at the luxury to pick and choose, even. I find it really weird, because I know I'm nowhere near the best student, and I know so many friends I judge to be better than myself who are unwilling to try to apply even. At the same time, lingering doubts over my own competency threaten to influence my decision-making process.

So yeah, today is Valentine's day. Happy one to all readers! I had a great day, surrounded by friends from the moment the day began till the very moment it ended. Met Fai, Pong and SK to go running, ending up at Fong Seng and only getting back at 2am. The run was great fun, the company was excellent. Had a nice lunch and a good conference the next day, followed by a trip to biopolis. Saw Grace and Tee on my way to a slack day in lab working on my report. Briefly hung out with the attached peoples of Thursday CG, sitting around wondering where all the non-attached people were on Valentine's day. Prayer at pgp today was really uplifting too. Felt we should have sang this song to close actually, but got too distracted by the prospect of bubble tea.

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turned His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen one
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Then we watched Dead Poets Society and a TED video, sailing into the 15th sharing thoughts and ideas with friends.

I really don't think I could have spent this day any better than I have done today. =)

posted by beckyboo @ 2:54 AM 1 comments

Someday I will:
- anchor myself
- buy a vespa
- climb a mountain
- do a marathon
- enter the real world
- fly away from this place
- go to Africa
- have a house of my own
- invent a cure
- join my grandma in heaven
- knit something recognisable
- learn how to dance
- make a difference
- need to know
- obey completely
- publish in Nature
- question myself
- regret some things
- start a band
- tell you how I feel
- understand myself
- volunteer again
- write a book

not necessarily in that order.

posted by beckyboo @ 9:17 PM 0 comments

Happy New Year


2005, you can tell what year it is by the length of my brother's hair.


2006, but my daddy is wearing the same shirt.



2007 I was in the UK

2008

posted by beckyboo @ 2:05 AM 1 comments

Stop baby
Don't go
Stop here
Never stop living here
Till it eats
The heart
From your soul
Keeps down the
Sound of your
Silent sigh
Keeps down all
Move me down
Could we love
Each other?
No, don't
Love each other
Never gonna be the same

posted by beckyboo @ 12:48 AM 0 comments